MAD MURPHY – Assistance Please!

ASSISTANCE PLEASE!

“I wish there was something I could do to help.” is the BIGGEST load of bullshit you can tell someone that is asking for help. Picture it this way. you’re drowning, and you scream for someone to help, and rather than turn their head 90 degrees to see a pile of live preservers, they just shrug and say “Gee, I see you’re having a problem swimming there, but I don’t know how to help you.” When someone asks for help and you give them ANY excuse not to help them, short of “I need to fix my own shit first” or “I’m dying” then YOU are a horrible person.

NO EXCEPTION.

Why would you NOT want to help? That’s the part that I don’t understand. You have consciously made the decision NOT to help someone that’s asking for it, and you stand by that, and try to justify it. “I wish there was something I could do to help”, “I just don’t know what I could do”, “It’s complicated”. Chances are you’ve heard at least ONE of these phrases. And all three of them translate to this: “I really don’t want to help, because I’m scared.” Scared of what? Scared that someone may be grateful for your attempt to help? Scared of getting your hands dirty? Scared of someone else wondering WHY you are helping someone, or a certain someone? Scared of your reputation taking a hit? Scared of WHAT exactly?

Look, it boils down to this. If someone needs help, you help them. If they specifically ask for YOUR help, then you, specifically, help them. If you have to give someone an excuse, ANY excuse, short of the two I mentioned previously, then you, are simply, a bad person, an immature person that, instead of thinking of how to help the person that needs help, you are putting your OWN agenda first, and how helping them may affect you. THAT’S why you are a horrible person. This has nothing to DO with you, and quite frankly, how dare you. How dare you put yourself first, when someone else is in need of assistance. It makes me sick to even think of anyone doing that… yet, I know people who do… I know too many people that do. Of course, they would never admit it… but that’s what I’m here for, aren’t I? I’m the one that calls everyone out on their bullshit, because no one else will. But that’s another rant.

Let’s look at a different scenario. Someone asks for help, and you DO help them.. BRAVO… good for you. But how does this story end? What if the person that asked for help, doesn’t say thank you for your assistance? Or what if the “thanks” they do offer you, is caked with contempt, or the notion “y’know I asked for help, but that’s not the exact help I wanted.” WOW, what an asshole. I mean, here you are, doing what you can to help someone, sometimes going over, above and beyond the call of duty, and that wasn’t the “exact” kind of help they wanted? Who the fuck are they to be choosey? Or even worse, you help them they way they needed the most, and it is met with a “well, thanks… I guess.”

What the fuck is that shit? I helped you exactly the way you needed it and you GUESS thanks are in order, you greedy little cunt? What? Was my assistance not good enough? Was my advice or support not what you wanted to hear? Where do you get off to beg for food, but then complain that it’s not candy?

I had a friend, keyword HAD, who begged for help. They had NO idea what to do, and they were quite hopeless on the outcome if they didn’t receive some form of help. So, I did what I do, and I helped. I looked over the situation, and gave them the assistance they NEEDED. And, I shit you not, told me, well that’s not what I wanted. Look, Priscilla, you’re not in a position to be picky here. You NEEDED this, it’s not about WANT at this point. And that was the last time I ever spoken to this person.

Let’s take it a step further, someone asks for help, you help them, you ask that same person for help, and they won’t. I’m not talking CAN’T, I’m talking WON’T… big difference in those two words: CAN’T and WON’T. CAN’T is CAN NOT, they are unable to help, either physically, mentally or emotionally. WON’T is WILL NOT, they have made the conscious decision to be an asshole.

I don’t have enough time to berate these pieces of shit enough so I’ll just cap it off with a simple piece of advice, SCRAPE ‘EM OFF, CLAIRE. Don’t even bother asking for a reason. These self-absorbed smegma rags are not people you want in your life, and you deserve much better.

It goes like this: If you ask someone for help, and they need to think about it, move on to the next one, because they are literally thinking of a way NOT to help you… that is what they are thinking about. If someone WANTS to help, then they just will, and you’ll be grateful for ANY assistance that they give, and if you’re not, then FUCK YOU, CHARLIE. You asked for help and no one is a member of the Psychic Friends Network, NO ONE! Good people do what they can, Bad People don’t. It’s as simple as that.
I want you to think about the last time you asked for help, and someone came to your aid. How do you view that person? If you think of them as a god person, and you would WANT to return the favor, then Congratulations, you are a good person. NOW, think of all the times you asked for help, and someone gave you an excuse why they shouldn’t, couldn’t or wouldn’t help you? Think of all the times you asked for help, and instead of help, you were berated for even asking for help. Think of all the times you helped someone, but it wasn’t in their agenda to reciprocate that assistance. How do you view that person? Don’t bother, that person shouldn’t be in your life anymore.

Good people, no matter the situation, no matter the person, no matter the cost, help others. They do what they can. They don’t ask if they should, they just do. They may ask how they can help, so let them know, and if they do help, be thankful that they did, not because you get something out of it, but because it’s the right thing to do.

It doesn’t matter how it reflects on you, because when you give of yourself selflessly, THAT’S what people will see. People don’t care about WHO you helped, or WHY you helped, they just care about THAT you helped. And it will live much longer than any subscriber count, follower count, bank account, reputation or popularity that currently exists.

But Murphy, my anxiet… SHUT THE FUCK UP, NEXT! I already said this has NOTHING to do with you, so pull your head out of your ass so you can listen better and help that someone that’s asking for it. Let me make this crystal clear and simple to understand… so I’ll use small words so you can easily process them.

IF SOMEONE ASKS FOR HELP, AND YOU ARE ABLE TO HELP THEM, THEN HELP THEM! ANY ATTEMPT TO BRING YOUR BAGGAGE INTO THE MATTER IS AN EXCUSE, THEREFORE, DON’T EVEN BOTHER!

There is nothing more aggravating than asking someone for help, and then listening to a 60 minute thesis on why they cannot help you. DUDE, shut the fuck up, you’re wasting my time. I could have found someone else that was willing to help me by now if I didn’t have to listen to carry on about how the timing just isn’t right for you to help right now. Who gives a shit about your situation anyway, I’m asking for help, so are you going to help or not? The longer the excuse, the more full of shit that person is. Just get over it, they don’t want to help.. move on, kick that asshole to the curb because they feel that their situation is more important than actually being a decent person, and you don’t need that shit in your life.

There is too much negativity in the world. People dying all the time, riots, recession, unemployment, war, Donald Trump, Kim Kardashian’s ass, so wouldn’t it be a nice change of pace if we surrounded ourselves with positive stuff. You’d be surprised how many good things there are in the world, if you just let them in. There are plenty of people who are willing to help, give you a hug, dole out advice, work with you to figure yourself out, teach you things, new abilities, new skills, new thought processes, new ideas, you just need to ask for them. Forget those who want to horde their time and efforts to themselves, for whatever reason that may be. Hopefully, they will learn, sooner than later, that it’s not what you have now that makes for a meaningful life, it’s not the amount of toys, or the amount of money, or even the amount of friends, it’s making the connections that count. It’s all about just being a good person. If you wouldn’t want it to happen to you, then DON’T do it to someone else, I can’t make it more simple than that.

Be there for each other, whether it be family or friend, ally or enemy, we are all we have, and shutting others out, is only going to do one thing in the end, ensure you end up alone.