You may have noticed that I’ve been posting a lot about anxiety and depression lately on social media. Don’t get nervous, I’m not currently suffering a low (we’ll get to that term in a bit), I’m just trying use my numbers to help bring awareness and attempt to remove the stigma that mental health issues should NOT be talked about openly.
Let’s discuss the main drive of this: Mental Health issues should not be talked about openly. One Word: BULLSHIT. It goes along with the old saying that you shouldn’t talk about politics or religion in a bar, except nowadays, there are a list of things we just don’t talk about openly and maturely. Politics, Religion, Death, Sex and Mental Illness. The only thing that having a list like this has taught us was that the less we talk about it openly, the more control the higher-ups have over us about it. If we learned how to talk about all of these topics openly, honestly and maturely, then most of us would be more educated on all of those topics. Think about all the people that just MIGHT understand how abortion actually works if we all talked about it more and how that would benefit us all.
So in keeping with that mantra, I like to talk about how my mental illness has effected me, and how it may apply to you. I’ll talk about what my brain goes through when a specific event occurs and the effects that follow, or make mention of my HIGHS and LOWS, something that everyone needs to understand, or attempt to explain how certain things trigger my mental illness, and how I deal with it.
First, let’s talk about “triggers”. I hate this word, but it’s a word we can all understand. It’s an event or situation that causes a switch to flip in your brain and turns on a specific set of emotions or reactions. Triggers are personal. Let me repeat that; TRIGGERS are PERSONAL. They effect YOU. They do NOT effect everybody else in the room that is in the exact same situation the exact same way. The reason I hate the word is that for the longest time now, certain individuals believed that if you utter the phrase “I’m triggered by that”, that we should automatically cease what we are doing and make sure YOU are ok, that we should stop everything and cater to your inability to deal with this personal trigger because this group situation is all about you.
I hate those people. Those are the people that have helped turn open communication into a game of “emotional pop goes the weasel”. Someone’s going to be offended by something you’re about to say – trigger them, and you lose the game. It’s ridiculous. Triggers are personal, so you need to deal with them personally. If the topic of discussion is difficult for you to deal with, LEAVE THE CONVERSATION. It is not everyone else’s job to make sure the world is Downy Soft for you – that’s YOUR job. That’s Life.
I know it’s a bit of a tangent, but I was in a chatroom a few months ago where we were having an adult conversation. We were talking about words and insults. I’ve always been fascinated by words, and their origins and their evolution throughout mankind. George Carlin once said “There are no bad words. There are bad thoughts, bad intentions, but no bad words.” and I sincerely believe in that. No word is ever BORN bad. and I brought this up in the conversation I was having with some individuals. I introduced the idea that even some of the most hateful slurs we have today were not born evil. They may have been bad words for a very long time, but they were never born that way, it was always someone with bad thoughts and bad intentions that turns that word into a slur by using it in a hurtful or degrading manner in reference to another person. One individual, who came into the conversation in the middle (isn’t that always how it is) decided that this topic of conversation was offensive, and triggering, and started having a panic attack, had a panic attack in a chatroom, had a hysterical conniption in the comfort of their own home reading text on a computer screen and shut the topic of discussion down, just put on the internet siren and called the Tumblr SJW Police and shut it down. It was the most egregious, immature act I have ever seen in a chat room, and I have seen PLENTY of immature acts online. Adults were speaking, and 12 year old throws a hissy fit so we have to stop? NO, the 12-year leaves the room, because the grown-ups are talking, ok Jimmy. This is a perfect example of why those people that live to be offended, or are destined to be triggered piss me off and why we can’t have open and honest communication.
BUT, if we talk about it more, and instead of just barking “I’M OFFENDED” or “THAT TRIGGERS ME” we discuss why that is offensive to YOU or why that triggers YOU, then we can learn more about YOU. Are you the type of person who just waits to be offended and then jumps out from behind the shadows and shouts out “THAT’S OFFENSIVE” like three red robed British Comedians pretending to be the Spanish Inquisition? Or are you the type of person who doesn’t WANT to be offended by this and maybe improve your situation? That’s another point to address. Many of these Trigger Hounds don’t want to be OK with a situation, they actually enjoy getting upset. There’s a condition for that, and it circles back around to openly addressing mental health issues.
The more we talk about what’s bothering us, the less it will bother us – plain and simple. I firmly believe that the more open you are about how you feel and the emotions you are experiencing, the more you take their destructive power away and start moving towards either recovery or healthy management.
They say the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem, 100% true. This goes back to those special individuals that love to be offended by everything. If they don’t want to admit that this disruptive behavior is a problem for you and others, then there’s nothing you can do for them now – they don’t want to be helped. This doesn’t mean that you should simply abandon them. Abandonment will simply make the situation worse, either for you or for them, it never has a pleasant resolution. But maybe take a step back, don’t engage them as much, don’t participate in conversations where they are present. And if or when they finally do realize they were the problem all along, be there for them. Don’t just say “I’m here for you” and then pin a twenty dollar bill to their shirt, scoot them along their merry way and wish them the best of luck, washing your hands of the situation completely. Be the person you would want to go to if you were in their situation. Help them become a better version of themselves, that’s the sign of a decent person, the willingness to change.
But back to this concept of open communication and how it benefits everyone. I talk about my personal and general experiences for a few reasons. FIRST, to remove the stigma that we’re not supposed to talk about it. Why not? Why can’t we talk about it? Because it might make someone uncomfortable? Deal with it, it’s life. Not everyone is Ozzie and Harriet. Life is not a sit-com where our problems can be solved in a thirty minute episode. No. Sometimes is takes days, weeks months, but it has to start somewhere. So when someone says “I need to talk to you about something”, don’t recoil like you’re touching wet food (I think we can all agree that is fuckin’ nasty). Be the person you would want to go to if you were in their situation. Listen. And not listen just to respond. Listen to understand. Get the entire story. Don’t jump to conclusions. Don’t say “Oh, I totally get it…” because chances are, you don’t unless you’ve experienced the exact same thing. This isn’t about you right now. This person is hurting and its already taken enough of their energy just to gather the courage to talk to someone about this. Be the hero, take the time, hear them out.
SECOND, I talk about my mental health to let everyone know that they are not alone. There’s something in the experience where you can relate to a situation that is extremely comforting. You may be the only you in this world, but you are not alone when it comes to experiencing it. There are others who suffer as you do, see things how you do, feel the way you do – and that strength in numbers is a powerful feeling. So when I talk about how this emotion sucks, or how this experience is painful – I say it knowing that there are others who may have experienced this, and they’ll be able to tell themselves “Man, and I thought I was the only one who felt like that. I’m glad I’m not the only one.”
THIRD, and this is personal for me, it allows me to get it off my chest and out of my system. One of my many issues is that I tend to bottle things up and then hold onto them and shake them up until they explode, and its usually at someone that I care for – so then I have to apologize for getting upset, and work damage control to repair what I have done. A while back, I went through a fairly public slew of attacks in the form of a falsified document that was attempting to slander a few individuals. A few of the details were fractional snippets of drama we had all experienced and resolved before, but about 99% of it was complete fiction. Not only was I upset, but my wife was too. We had already gone through this drama once before, and now some schmuck had to bring it all back up again. Instead of just dealing with it and getting it off my chest and out of my system like I wanted to, it was suggested that I just ignore it and it will go away in time. Well, it didn’t go away, not for a few months. And my frustration and anger continued to build and bubble out in weird bursts of fury. I lost friends because of it. Eventually, I was able to get that anger, that frustration, that wrath out of my system and it was over – it last about a day. But because it was suggested to me that I keep it all in and not let it out, it hurt me and hurt others. So I don’t do that anymore. I don’t care if its uncomfortable for you – it is not healthy to bottle your emotions up. You may get sick, get an ulcer, or worse, end up with permanent health issues that will have longer lasting effects.
Some individuals have come up to me after I have posted one of these bits of mental health stress relief, asking me if everything is fine. I do appreciate this, sincerely, but nothing is wrong. It’s just part of what I find to be a constructive and health part of my mental therapy. I can vent, inform, help, teach, and comfort people, and all it takes is 280 characters.
So please, talk about your mental issues. Be open to solutions and possibilities. Never bottle up your emotions. Let’s all do our parts to end the stigma that mental health is a taboo subject. It is a serious topic, and we need as many serious individuals talking about it as much as possible. Maybe then we can all do our parts to help heal the world, and truly make it a happier place for everybody.
If you would like to read others who share my views that Mental Health should be openly discussed, check out the following articles:
Talking About Your Mental Health
Breaking The Taboo: It’s Time to Talk about Mental Health
My Depression is more taboo than your Chronic Diarrhea, and That’s Depressing
Reducing mental Health Stigma in The Workplace
Murphy1976 is the Founder of WellHey Productions. Although, he is considered by some to be one of the most creative creepypasta narrators, he doesn’t tend to classify himself as strictly creepypasta. As the eldest in the Creepy Pasta Network, Murphy is looked upon as a faux-father figure to some, and a grumpy old man to others. Murphy currently resides in Wisconsin, USA.
