It’s been close to 40 years since I have lost all faith in God.
I was told by people who blindly worshipped him, that He is everywhere and he loves me and He will always do good by me. But, at an early age, it was those who blindly worshipped him who hurt me the most. And I asked myself, if he loves me so, then why is does his plan for me involve so much pain.
For that reason, among others, I left the church. My faith in his ability to do good or be good was gone. I felt going to a building to worship an absent father was foolish and a waste of my time.
I then chose, not to put my faith in some unseen being, but in people. People can be seen, they can be heard, you can witness their deeds and experience their successes and failures. That too, failed fairly quickly. Ulterior motives, broken promises, blatant lies, abandonment – clearly this was an even worse choice.
I have been introduces to other beliefs. Buddha, Mohammed, Lucifer, a man in a skipper’s cap. And with each, I have asked one very simple and specific request:
“Why should put my faith in you?”
Of course, all the answers I have received were that of a spiritual nature, but that’s not what I am asking for. If I am going to put my faith in you, then what can you do to earn that faith? I have wasted so much of my life blindly putting my faith in beings and people and things that I cannot afford to waste any more time on the matter.
If you feel you are worthy of faith, then explain to me why I should put my faith in you. If you are as wonderful as you say you are, then show us how wonderful you are. If you are as powerful as you say you are, then show us your power. I refuse to be another in your flock of mindless sheep. My faith is mine to give.
The heart wants to believe, but the mind needs more than just someone’s word. If there is a higher power that controls it all, then what is it that prevents that higher power from showing us that they at least exist. At a bare minimum, I feel we are ALL owed that.
I feel that faith is a combination of trust and respect. If you both give and receive those, then you have faith in whatever that may be. And we at a bare minimum, to worship you as a higher power should have trust and respect in you, and you should have trust and respect in us. If either of those components are missing, then can be no faith.
There will be someone who will say “Well faith is actually the believe without those things, belief without evidence.” And I say, best of luck with that. My faith is valuable to me, and I am not going to waste it someone or something that MIGHT not follow through. At least not anymore.
We, as humans need something to believe in, it is in our nature. We cannot possibly fathom everything that exists in our universe, known or unknown and having faith in someone or something helps us process our existence. But we also deserve to know what we have faith in. Yes, you can put your faith in a fart, but even at my age, you can’t always trust a fart. So no.. not putting my faith in flatulence, especially when I really like these jeans I’m wearing.
There is a caveat with this mindset. It is extremely lonely.
When you stand firm on the value of your faith, you have, in essence, drawn a line in the sand. And depending on where that line is, many will not have the criteria you need to be able to cross that line, many refuse to acknowledge you have a line, and some will even ridicule you for having a line. This is not an easy path, but I feel that nothing that is worth having in this life is ever easy.
Your faith has value. Your beliefs have value. Your trust and respect have value. Treat them as they should and do not just give them away lightly.
Murphy1976 is the Founder of WellHey Productions. Although, he is considered by some to be one of the most creative creepypasta narrators, he doesn’t tend to classify himself as strictly creepypasta. As the eldest in the Creepy Pasta Network, Murphy is looked upon as a faux-father figure to some, and a grumpy old man to others. Murphy currently resides in Wisconsin, USA.
