Published on April 1, 2016 by Old Man Murphy

HAPPY APRIL FOOL’S DAY! No… no pranks today. But I will give you a new Mad Murphy format – Live Video! No longer just staring at a blank screen. My topic to kick off the new set, Otherkin is not real, it’s just your inability to deal with reality.Music:

Octo Blues – Kevin MacLeod (
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0

All Imagery, not created by WellHey Productions is licensed under Creative Commons 1.0


I said it on my Tumblr and I’ll say it again – Otherkin is not real, it is your inability to deal with reality. When you simply tell everyone that you are a non-human, people in the real world are going to look at you and laugh. If you’re not human, then what are you? An animal? Really? An animal that walks upright and speaks fluent English?

Now, I’m not talking furries, that’s something completely different – I’m talking about people who honestly believe that they are not human. Again.. a PERSON – that thinks – they are NOT HUMAN.  Doesn’t that violate something here? Some fundamental law of being? You can’t be something biologically and mentally – but not be that something biologically and mentally. There is some serious chemical imbalance there.

Man, I wish I had nothing better to do than to just sit around and come up with this shit that some of you honestly believe in. I’ve heard most everything that this internet generation has put out there. A sexual for everything, a gender for everything, and now.. an aversion to being human. Seriously, what is so wrong with playing with the cards you were dealt? Is it a mental defense? Did something traumatically happen in your past that you have to completely block out your entire humanity? Is it a social thing? Well everyone else is doing it – it’s fun to pretend to be other things, even if it makes everyone else uncomfortable.

I had this unpopular opinion since I first heard about Otherkin. I thought it was the biggest fucking joke I have ever heard. Children, that think they are animals. I couldn’t STOP laughing, I still can’t. And then, I was confronted. Confronted by a 14-year old girl who called me an asshole. She proceeded to tell me that there is nothing wrong with being a deerkin, I’m not making that up – she literally believes she was a deer, and that ignorant asshole fuck wads like me need to open our eyes to see the real world…

Yes, a guy like me, who has experienced several wars, a cataclysmic terrorist attack on our home turf, a marriage, two kids, several hirings and firings, unemployment, being in jail and several court appearances, needs to open my eyes to the real world.  While Bambi here, who has been safe in the Shire with mommy and daddy her entire life, thinks that everyone else should adopt this “WHAT ANIMAL AM I TODAY” policy, and have it be commonplace.

Anyone else feel like venison for dinner after hearing that?

And let’s face it, the best way to change someone’s mind about ANYTHING is to insult their opinion in the first place. GOOD GOD, STINKY – you just strengthened my opinion that not only is Otherkin not real, but all otherkins are now assholes!  BRAVO!

She kept at me for a while, then apologized, then retracted that apology because I was too busy having fun portraying Foxy the Pirate, so I reported her – haven’t heard from her in a year or two, so I how she’s a 13-point now.  Make some hunter really really happy.

So I continued this thought, Otherkin is not real – it’s complete bullshit. And then… miraculously, a person took me aside and said, “Y’know I totally get where you are coming from, these Tumblr Otherkins make us real ones look bad.”

Wait what? You’re saying Tumblr got something wrong? Again? You have my full attention.

They went on to explain that OTHERKIN is actually a spiritual practice where you harness the power of your spirit animal, so you feel “as strong as an ox” or “as swift as a cheetah”. You’re human just like everyone else is, you just are closer to nature in a spiritual sense of the word. OK, now we’re getting somewhere – but the term OTHERKIN, still didn’t sit well with me. If Otherkin is exactly what this person said, then you are simply in sync with your spirit animal. That’s it, you’re not akin to it, you are just harnessing it’s spiritual energy – that’s something completely different. So my original statement still actually holds true, Otherkin is NOT REAL.

Then, after volleying my unpopular opinion back and forth with some other otherkins – someone made another grand statement.  “Those Fictionkins, always making us Otherkin look bad.”

Wait what? There’s something worse than Otherkin? If you don’t know, Fictionkin is the belief that you are a fictional character. And I thought believing you were an animal was a far enough removal away from humanity, some jerkoff took it a step further. Now, otherkin may has a conversation with you – try to explain what otherkin actually is, and listen to your point of view… but there is no hope ZERO, ZILCH, NADA, NYET, NULL chance of you ever having a decent conversation about your opinion of fictionkins.  They will completely abandon any hope of backing their beliefs and simply attack you. Every single one of them that I have addressed have attempted to attack me rather than address the opinion. And when you do that – you have simply proven to me that you have nothing of value to offer me. You have no ammunition. You are a blank slate, so you resort the only way you know how – grade school “YEAH, WELL YOU’RE STUPID” antics. And again.. as I said before, it’ll only strengthen my opinion that not only are you not real, not only are you an asshole, but now, you also have the intellectual prowess of a sixth grader.

Look, I’m not one to slam anyone’s beliefs, as long as they are sound. I believe in Karma, the force that good happens to those who do good and bad happens to those that do bad – hasn’t failed me yet, because I have seen it happen. But when you believe you are something that you are not, despite all evidence, visually, mentally, biologically and emotionally – that is not a belief… that’s a condition, and I suggest you talk to someone about it.

I posted my beliefs on Tumblr – y’know… because that’s the most tolerant place in the world to post your beliefs, and I was SHOCKED to find that this open-minded group of children took offense with the fact that I simply didn’t believe in Otherkin.

One little wolf-boy went as far as taking the time to respond to my post, then immediately block me, so that I wouldn’t have a chance to defend myself, because, y’know that is the mark of being truly tolerant of another beings belief structure; slam it down then give them no way to defend the way they feel. bravo, Fido.. Bravo.

Now I’m not one to generalize, but… well, here we go.  What I have noticed the most about these fuzzy fuckups is that they all have the same thought process on how to defend they way they are. They have a giant chip on their shoulder that no one else is buying their fiction-droppings, and so their only course of action is to verbally retaliate.  Rather than trying to talk to someone logically, or just dropping it altogether, y’know because THAT IS AN OPTION TOO. Rather than being good little puppies and kitties, they viciously attack without mercy. The tenacity these creatures have is outstanding, but unfortunately, it’s all for nought. Y’see no matter how loud you bark, roar, trumpet, bray, howl or whinny – the final outcome is this. If I thought you were a phony before, now i just think you are a phony, who’s also a fucking asshole. You have won nothing. And until you change your tune, you are not going to score points with anyone who is willing to listen.

So, you can call me whatever you want to call me, you can insult me till the cows come home, you can tell me how immature I am, how close-minded I am, how socially-ignorant I am, how stupid, moronic, idiotic, or how big of a bozo I am. That will not change the fact that the lot of you are just bullies with tails – and I don’t put up with that shit, ever!

That’s a BAD BOY! Do I have to rub your nose in it?

Now, after some careful consideration – I think I finally figured out what the true issue is here. It’s not about believing who you are, or what you are, or any of that. You can believe whatever you want to believe about yourself, I’m not one to stop anyone from doing that. It’s YOUR belief, and who am I to tell you to stop believing it.  I may not believe it myself, but that’s MY belief, I believe you are completely full of shit.  What the problem is, and I see this time and time again, is that as soon as I say that I don’t believe, all these otherkin jump down my fucking throat. They say I’m wrong, that say I’m close-minded, they say I am ignorant. I say, shut the fuck up, I’ll believe whatever the fuck I want to believe in.

It’s never really been about what you believe in… it’s always been about forcing me to believe in what you believe in – and that’s just not how it works. You don’t gain disciples by force, you gain disciples by teaching, and your actions are simply teaching me that otherkin are spoiled little entitled pricks that throw a temper tantrums when they don’t get their way.

Now, I’m not saying ALL otherkin are bad, out of all the interaction I have had with otherkin since I build my little soapbox, about 5% come to me with an open mind and ask questions. They want to know what I think otherkin is, and see if they can fill in any blanks. I appreciate that, I really do. It tells me that you’re not forcing me to believe in the reality of it, you just want to make sure that I’m aware of what it really is.  The other 95% of you cunts think that I’m challenging your existence – so you immediately attack. And just like any other bully, picking on me, tossing shade or hurling insults is only going to strengthen my opinion that your belief is nothing more than a reality dodge.

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