I’ve always been a fan of the classic HORROR movie, the drawn out suspense, the eerie music, the sudden JOLT of terror that sweeps over you and it keeps building and building until you wet your pants… MAN… I LOVE IT! But lately, it seems that Hollywood has almost abandoned the intricate fine tuning of a good horror story and replaced it with it’s cheap whore of a retarded cousin, GORE.
It’s just red dye #5, corn syrup, big boobs and a strategically placed loincloth. The stories are always interchangeable. And the character development is always lacking.
Whatever happened to sitting down for more than five minutes to come up with a good original idea, think it out fully, rehearse with the actors, spend months on post production to get the color and lighting just right, fly some music composer from Transylvania, who is a direct descendant of Vlad the Impaler, to give birth to a masterpiece of a score that would give H.P. Lovecraft the chills, and then release it to the public and say, “WARNING, You may need a diaper!”
Unfortunately, those days are gone.
Oh, of course, you have your diamonds in the rough. They have many good moments, but never a 100% masterpiece. Maybe my standards are too high. I remember, when I was younger, my parents would absolutely prohibit ANY viewing of The Exorcist and Poltergeist, two of which are two of the best horror movies in my book. Thinking back on it, maybe it’s the fact that they marketed the movies to me just right. Not too much hype, but just enough to make me WANT to get grounded just to see a killer clown doll attack a little boy, or a little girl spin her head completely around. And none of it happened right off the bat, like say, for instance, The SAW franchise. They started off each movie with someone getting slaughtered.
I think I’ve finally figured it out though. The difference is like a master angler deep sea fishing in the Pacific versus a guy who reaches into a fish tank and pulls out a guppy. It’s easier that way, it’s quicker and it gets results immediately. But the down side, and no movie marketing person will ever admit this, but fishing that way is like eating Chinese Food, you’re hungry for more five minutes later. With the master angler, yeah it may take hours, but when you finally get the catch you fee l like you earned it, the ends justify the means, the ending is actually happy, plus it’ll take you months to finish that Great White you somehow managed to muscle into the back of your boat.
So since Halloween is coming up soon, not only will we be starting off our tutorial section with a good kick, but I open the floor up to you. What’s better, HORROR or GORE. If you say GORE and don’t have a good reason to back it up, then pox upon thee!